Saturday, December 26, 2015

When you're too understanding


I'm the type of person who is constantly empathizing with people by trying to imagine how situations would look from their perspectives. I am always open to see things from another viewpoint, to the point that it becomes destructive to myself. I don't just give out second chances. I give out third, and fourth, and fifth chances. I give out chances until I have nothing else to give.

I give them out until I reach the point where giving out one more chance would be enough to destroy me from the inside.

As you can imagine, living this way leaves me vulnerable to be taken advantage of. I'm forever searching for the balance between being a doormat and just simply being a very understanding person. I put other people's feelings ahead of my own.

Someone could do something that upset me, and although I may feel hurt I am quick to brush it aside. I give them excuses before they even have to. "Maybe they have a reasonable explanation. I should be careful not to take things too personally." This way of living can blow up my face.

I am learning that it is important not to lose yourself in the process of valuing other people’s perspective. My mind need to understand that I am worthy of respect. I am worthy of attention. My time is just as valuable as anybody else's. It's nice to be understanding and merciful when people deserve it, but I need to be wary of the people who make a habit out of taking advantage of my mercy.

It hurts when you realize that the person whose feelings you have been placing above your own couldn't be bothered to think of your feelings at all. Please stop making excuses for people who do not deserve to be let off the hook so easily.

If someone is consistently ignoring you, they do not care about you even half as much as you do. You do not have to feel bad about cutting them out. Asking to be treated with respect does not make you crazy, and it is not asking too much.

Save your perspective-taking and understanding for the people in your life who have consistently proven that they respect and value you. Sometimes even these people will disappoint you without meaning to. The difference is that they do not make a habit out of doing so, and will make every effort in making it up to you when they do.

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